Fifteen years, y’all. I’ve been writing this column every two weeks for fifteen years. Since the turn of the century. Before I had my baby (now 13), or my house (also long in the tooth), or either of my cats (ditto), I had this column. That’s something, isn’t it? I don’t know what, exactly. But something.
Writer’s Note: I greet you, reader, from an upstairs bedroom at my parents’ house in Alabama. It’s the day after Christmas, the TV is droning, and downstairs a dog barks as my nieces, ages 3 and 5, belt out another round of “Let It Go” on their new karaoke machine. (Thanks, Santa.) Certain circumstances do not lend themselves to column writing, so I offer you a “classic” from the archives. This piece first appeared in January 2012…
Last issue, I wrote about the curse of the holiday blues, and soon thereafter I found it starting to lift. You fellow scribblers will recognize this phenomenon. There’s something about writing your feelings down – about herding the nebulous and intangible into neat, concrete sentences and paragraphs – that can actually purge those feelings, or at least render them more manageable. Writing as catharsis is nothing new.
I’m not sure when it happened, exactly. Looking back, I can’t pinpoint the specific year things changed… when I transformed from a cheerful holiday enthusiast into one of those folks who often feels cranky and overwhelmed this time of year.
This Halloween, there was a strange role reversal at our house. For the first time in ages, I found myself in need of a costume while my daughter was not. Jeff and I were invited to a costume party, while Amelia was – for the first time in her life – not trick-or-treating.
I’m having trouble sleeping, y’all. Not falling asleep, mind you – just staying asleep. Almost every night for the past . . . gosh, it seems like a year but it’s probably more like two weeks . . . I’ve been waking up around 3 a.m. and staying that way. Awake. Utterly, terribly awake.