Dear L. A. Plume,

I understand a bit about text messaging on cell phones - that abbreviations allow for more words, that text messages cost money so the shorter/quicker the better. But I am not of the age, nor are most of my friends, at which texting is the preferred method of communication. So here is what I don’t understand and makes me crazy: perfectly well educated, grown up people, using texting “language” in emails. If they can’t just pick up the phone and have a bit of a nice, chatty conversation, can’t they do any better than: “How R U 2day?” (It reminds me of vanity license plates, which, by the way, have the same effect on me.) How can I get these people to write in normal words?” 

Betty

Dear Ms. Plume,

Last week we invited our new neighbors over for dinner with their little boy. The parents insisted that he would be fine sitting in front of the television with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich they had thoughtfully brought for him. All was well until he came into the dining room to tell his parents that he had wanted his sandwich toasted and had put it into the VCR in an attempt to do so. Needless to say, that was pretty much the end of the VCR; the parents have offered to replace it, should we accept?

Luanne