Dear Ms. Plume,

I've always wondered if we're held accountable for someone else’s behavior if they are our friend or guest. I'm dating a woman who has poor table manners. She talks with food in her mouth, she collects the dinner plates when people are barely finished eating and scrapes them at the table, she scrapes her own plate while eating until I think the decoration will come off. She is other wise lovely, but I shudder when we have dinner with friends.

Ethan

Dear Ms. Plume,

I recently had a couple visiting me for a couple of days. When they left I found a few bottles of Bourbon in the trash. I don’t care who drinks what or when, but she doesn’t drink, and she thinks he isn’t drinking. So in addition to the fact that no one bothered to tell me I needed to replenish my liquor cabinet, I’m a bit worried that his drinking problem has resurfaced. Should I say something to my friend?

Kay